By Jamie O’Brien
Despite the fact that recent statistics show the number of marriages in Australia is on the decline and the average length of marriage is now just a little over 12 years, Armadale couple Peter and Barbara Boggon say it is still possible to have a long-lasting marriage – and, all the while, being happy.
The Mt Richon couple who, last August, celebrated their 45th wedding anniversary, say that true friendship and remaining loyal has been the secret to their marriage standing the test of time.
Married on 29 August 1970 at Corpus Christi Church, Mosman Park, the couple met through mutual friends while Barbara was on holiday in Liverpool, England in 1968.
Barbara says that having a Christian marriage was extremely important for her, because it was part of who she was.
“The Catholic faith has always been a big part of my life – I have a sister who belongs to the Presentation Sisters; I had been brought up in the Catholic faith and I can’t think of what life would be like to not be involved in the Church,” she said.
While Peter was not a Catholic when the couple were married, he was baptised 10 years later at St Thomas Parish, Claremont.
Barbara says that, in thinking about her 45 years of marriage, today’s society places a huge emphasis on the need to be happy, but often not with a Christian mindset.
“We worked on our marriage,” she said. “We have never not wanted to be married.”
In its 2015 Marriage and Wedding Report, Sydney-based social research company McCrindle said that, while the number of marriages taking place each year in Australia has been rising for more than a decade, recent figures show that marriages are on the decrease, with an average of 118,962 marriages taking place per year, a figure that is down 4,282 since 2011.
The average male marries at 29.9 years of age, and the average female marries at 28.3 years of age.
Further research showed that only 27 per cent of marriages in Australia in 2015 were religious based, with the average length of marriage lasting just over 12 years.
Director of Marriage and Fertility Services for the Archdiocese of Perth, Derek Boylen, said that marriage in the Church gives couples – at no matter what point in their marriage – the opportunity for support; through marriage preparation prior to the wedding day, support and education with raising children, counselling and a host of other services.
“With all the challenges facing a Christian marriage today, it is important we make time to remember the love and unity to which Christ calls us,” Mr Boylen said.
“As married couples, too often we go through life, day after day, sometimes without a chance to reflect on how, why and where the Holy Spirit is guiding us, showing us what it really means to love – like Christ did – and how, as Christians, we, in turn, can pass on the gift of faith to our children and those around us through this love,” he said.
For Peter and Barbara Boggon, they say that, for them, their marriage has been about knowing each other, which comes from good communication.
“Peter and I always talk to each other – we don’t make a decision without consulting each other,” Barbara said. “We are very good friends,” Peter said.
Both Barbara and Peter agreed raising children is a difficult task – but that both parents need to be in tune with each other.
“You need to be on the same page. For Peter and I, our Christian ideals were the same, which is most important.
“Yes – it’s a challenge, especially considering you (as a parent) always feel like you are being watched – what you’re doing and how you’re doing it (looking after your child),” Barbara said.
“You also have to remember that there is another person (your spouse) who has their ideas too,” she said.
So what advice would they give to other couples looking to get married in the Church today?
“Acknowledge that there is a third person – which is God – and try to walk with Him all the time,” they said.
The Archdiocese of Perth will this year celebrate the Annual Marriage Day Mass on Saturday, 13 August at 10am at St Mary’s Cathedral. All couples and families are welcome. The Mass is an important way that our Archdiocese recognises and celebrates the important contribution that marriage makes to the Church and wider community. This special occasion is for all who are married or support marriage.
Couples who are celebrating significant milestone anniversaries (25, 30, 40, 50, 60 or even 70 years) can receive a commemorative certificate bestowing a special blessing from Archbishop Timothy Costelloe and Bishop Don Sproxton. For more information, contact Catholic Marriage and Fertility Services on 08 9241 5000 or via email to derek.boylen@perthcatholic.org.au. All details MUST be received before 24 July 2016.
From pages 20 and 21 from Issue 2: ‘Family: What does it mean in 2016?’ of The Record Magazine