By Amanda Murthy
A journey of a lifetime for the Meaghers
Thomas and Emily Meagher, who exchanged vows last June, believe that they would not have met, fallen in love and dedicated their lives to one another if not for the calling they received from God.
“We wouldn’t be married if we didn’t believe God had called us to this vocation of marriage and all that implies,” Emily said.
“It was important to both of us throughout this discernment process to do a lot of reading, researching, listening to sermons on marriage, meditating and asking God for guidance.
“Without faith in Christ, who with His Church is the exemplar of marriage, Thomas and I would have never taken this step,” she reaffirmed.
The couple’s journey began three and a half years ago, through their passion for the Church and a deep desire to learn more about the person of Jesus, which Emily stated was something they only started “scratching the surface of” when they first met.
The couple admitted that one of their biggest strengths and challenges as a couple is striving to let God in, to be the centre of their marriage.
“Sometimes we get distracted with lesser goods like work or study but nevertheless, we try our best to be vulnerable and honest with one another, keeping one another accountable in our spiritual journey,” Thomas said.
“We are reminded of that in Word, Sacrament, prayer and by a broader community of friends that understand the radical implications of the Gospel – Friends in Christ’s body that will challenge us when we become complacent.
Thomas candidly recalled the moment he decided to propose to Emily.
“We both understood marriage as a vocation; one which is ultimately about building up the body of Christ, the community and one another. We knew that marriage takes sacrifice and the kind of love that we see displayed in a crucified God,” he added.
Recognising the gift of marriage, the Meaghers had some advice for couples who are preparing for Holy Matrimony.
“Always prioritise Mass and receiving the Sacraments, pray fervently and be present in a tight-knit community.
“Don’t take your vocation lightly because discipleship, whether you are married or single, is challenging and it will cost you a great deal but, if you do it with the right person, it will be an incredibly joyful and fulfilling life that you promise to live with one another,” Emily said.
Family first
Determined to gain greater opportunities in the land down under, Italian-born Raffaele Tedesco packed up his suitcase at the tender age of 16, embarking on a solo move to Perth.
“When I was 29 years old, I remember feeling accomplished in my career, but felt a part of me was incomplete, as I had always longed to start a family of my own,” Raffaele recalled.
It was the same year that a close family friend brought the two together and, as the saying goes, ‘the rest was history.’
The couple bonded almost instantly, Antonietta, 20 at the time, recounting their first and subsequent dates – Sunday Mass and lunch with her family, with occasional walks from work to the train station.
From early on, the couple made it a point to discuss the importance of marriage, their Italian culture, kids, faith, family and it wasn’t long before they got married at Christ the King Church in Beaconsfield on Valentine’s Day of 1970.
“It was a simple traditional wedding, but it was one of the best early memories we shared together,” Antonietta recounted.
The Tedescos had three children – Joseph, Maria Ellena and Anna Tedesco – who they described as the “best gifts from God”.
When asked about their fondest memory as a couple, the duo harmoniously shifted the attention to their 1982 trip to Italy, Switzerland and Germany. A trip which enabled them to reconnect with family, visit Lourdes and even witness a glimpse of former Pope, Saint John Paul II arriving at St Peter’s Square in a helicopter, only to walk right past them! “We made many sacrifices, as most couples do for their kids, but our ultimate goal was to find the joy in our marriage and family life, which we have,” Antonietta said.
“… through their faith, family and community they have kept their love going strong.“
“Raf and I were just so grateful for the opportunities we were able to get, and we were so happy to be able to give our kids these, and more opportunities.”
Fifty years later, the Mosman Park parishioners of Corpus Christi Church collectively concur that it is their faith, family and community that have kept their love going strong.
“The best part of our marriage for me is seeing our family grow and flourish – taking care of my kids, and now my grandkids, seeing them succeed and doing all of this with the love of my life – it makes all the sacrifices worth it,” Raffaele said.
“We may not be the most romantic couple, but we find the importance in our faith and family life – we are so blessed to have so much and we do not take those things for granted,” Antonietta concluded.
Marriage. Make it Work
Relationship Counsellor, Educator, Researcher and Director at the “Centre for Life, Marriage and Family” Derek Boylen gives The Record readers some tips on how to identify a healthy marriage, maintain it, and celebrate it!
Each marriage is called to be a Sacrament
This means that all healthy marriages are meant to mirror God’s love for His people by the love spouses have for one another. When we look at a healthy marriage, we should be inspired by the way that the couple loves, the deep respect that they show for one another, recognising their spouse as made in the image and likeness of God and loved infinitely by God. Healthy Catholic marriages are called to inspire us and restore our hope that love is possible. And let’s face it, when we spend time with strong married couples, we do feel inspired.
Is faith important in a marriage?
Faith is an essential part of building a healthy fulfilling marriage. Couples need to seek out others who have built successful marriages and those who have expertise in marriage if they want to strengthen their marriage. Also, on our wedding day, God promised the gift of His grace to strengthen and support our married life. The way we access that grace is through faith. Committed Catholic couples who practise and talk about their faith almost always discover the many amazing ways that God is, and wants to, work through their married life.
What a healthy marriage needs?
Communication skills, problem solving, intimacy, fertility, spirituality, financial management, parenting skills, and so on, just to name a few. No one is expected to be an expert in all these areas of life.
Couples who have strong marriages also know when to ask for help. It’s always a strength to know when to ask for help for our marriages. We live in an era where there are more services, research and programs to help couples than ever before. Couples should seek help when they need it.
Eac for help for our marriages. We live in an era where there are more services, research and programs to help couples than ever before. Couples should seek help when they need it.
For more information, call the Centre for Life, Marriage and Family on 08 92415000 or email admin.clmf@perthcatholic.org.au
From pages 15 to 17 of Issue 24: Soul: ‘Nurturing the Spiritual Principle in Us’ of The Record Magazine