How one surprised individual and the St Vincent De Paul Society made the difference in an abused family’s life.
It was a warm summer evening. I was enjoying the Christmas spirit with my family and friends. Yes it had been a good day; Mass, presents, sumptuous lunch and then an evening barbecue, good company and a secure laid back atmosphere.
At about 9.30pm on Christmas night 2007 I received a desperate mobile call. I could hear fear and desperation in the voice of a young mother as she was being threatened and berated by her partner. I could decipher threats of violence, young children crying.
A young mother I hardly knew was on the phone, explaining how her alcohol and drug affected former partner was being very violent and threatening all manner of revenge. A young 30 year old man, who should be enjoying his young family two of whom were still in nappies, the others primary-aged children.
I represented the only thread of hope she could think of. I was shocked and confused about what I could hear in the background and what she was telling me.
I felt compassion for this sobbing woman and her four young children. I could hear the anger and profanities, furniture being thrown and walls broken.
Immediately I began to try to access the situation. She explained that he had taken her mobile phone. After some hours of abuse and growing violence, he allowed her to call me. I did not know what I could do as she was some 3-4 hours away from me in the country. I suggested she hang up and I would alert the police. She feared for her life and wanted to maintain the connection with me.
I was concerned for her and the children. She said one had run away from the house and the older one was hiding in the house. The two youngest were huddled and crying. I could hear twin cries.
Eventually I calmed her down a little and explained that if she hung up I’d alert the Police. After some coaxing, she did.
As the Police proceeded to her residence, I phoned her back to reassure her the police were on their way. I asked to speak to the father. Eventually he came to the phone. I asked him his age because I could not think of what else to say. Then I said, “Well its Christmas day”, that the children I could hear crying were his and he should not harm them; the woman he was abusing was their mother. The hand of the Lord worked through me. He calmed a little.
In the meantime the police arrived. More violence and confrontation, but this time with experienced police officers. They took him away.
The mother bundled the kids in the car and drove away into the night with few belongings. Two and a half hours later she arrived at my farm block. Like Mary and Joseph, she settled in the manger for the night; no running water, a single donger accommodation. I was a further 2 hours away in Perth.
Next morning, on Boxing Day I went to her and there they were; dehydrated, hungry and disheveled. The children were expiring in the 40 degree heat. A bucket of water from a cattle trough was being used to cool the younger ones. “Jesus help us”, I thought.
What a desperate situation. So like the Holy Family. I went from caravan park to caravan park to find a room. Holiday time, no vacancies. Eventually I secured a one night room and moved them in. I told her to put the kids under the shower to cool them down – it worked.
So, while she did this, I went on with the search for accommodation and found a caravan park bungalow for her. She is still there a year later.
Christmas lunch for them was a cold meat and salad affair in a park, out of shop wrappings on a very hot 2007 Boxing Day.
The local St Vincent de Paul came to her aid after a few days. What an outstanding job they did.
The mother was a young woman with many issues. She had been deprived of love in her life and was struggling. In seeking SVDP help I explained that we could not judge the morals of the parents but only seek to support and assist for the sake of the children in a spirit of christian charity.
The St Vincent de Paul Society came with food, toys and heaps of christian love and charity. The family settled as the SVDP ladies taught the mother to shop, cook wholesome meals and so a broken family gradually became stable. There was love there but not much else.
A mother who could not cope; who, with no family support, was estranged from her children because of an abusive partner, gradually took control of her life.
The mother found a devotion to Our Lady and on her own account bought holy candles and pictures of Mary. She said she had seen this devotion to Mary at a seniors’ home she once worked at. She told me how, when cleaning the chapel, she would look at Mary’s statue, touch it and recite the Hail Mary as she heard the residents pray. The hand of the Lord was at work.
Now a year later, with a lot of support, she has been awarded custody of the children. Some level of stability has returned to their lives. The children, particularly the older ones, are damaged from a life of neglect. God only knows what the future holds for them. But the footsteps in the sand have carried her for over a year through our Mother, the Church. The SVDP were instruments the Lord used to help these desperate souls.
Can any of you reading this brief but true account imagine such a Christmas, or such neglect of your children or grandchildren?
Their lives are shattered. Neither parent can offer the full material and emotional nourishment children so badly need. The mother offers their best chance and only with the support of the Church and our prayers can she hope to succeed to any degree.
The psychologists dealing with this case have discussed various aspects with me. They have questioned my motives in assisting a stranger I had only met a few times, and through the Church and SVDP. They were puzzled why a stranger and SVDP would offer time and money over an extended period.
I explained it was due to my Catholic upbringing and family heritage. One turned his nose up and made uncomplimentary remarks about the Church. I was bemused but continued to work with them in a spirit of christian charity.
A year later, this same psychologist said to me that I was the most Christian man he had ever known – I am humbled. But once again, by living my faith I have touched a soul.
All this came from a desperate call for help on Christmas night 2007. Pray for this family and for those like them who suffer at Christmas. My motive for writing this brief account of events is to recognise the work of the Church and the hand of the Lord in our lives. God bless the SVDP.
Like so many of us I am far from perfect. I fail the test so many times but I continue to strive to improve.
Name and address supplied
The Society of St Vincent De Paul can be contacted on
(08) 9475 5400