The special thanksgiving Mass at St Mary’s Cathedral on Friday 4 December for Fr Thi Lam’s parents was not just a surprise celebration of 60 years of marriage, but a testimony to what is possible through faith, not just within the boundaries of domestic life, but in the face of genuine struggle and adversity.
“My parents didn’t know anything; it was a total surprise all the way – everything was organised in secret. We told them that we would be going to a thanksgiving Mass at the Cathedral and then out to dinner afterwards, but when we arrived, they saw the Emeritus Archbishop Barry Hickey, about 25 priests and five religious sisters, all of their relatives were there… it was beautiful to see the joy and happiness on their face throughout the Mass,” Fr Thi, Kwinana’s Parish Priest said.
“I have to say thank you to the Archbishop Timothy Costelloe SDB for his guidance and a big thank you to Fr Sean Fernandez, the Dean of St Mary’s Cathedral for allowing this event to happen at our Cathedral.
“It was very special to see how my parents have passed on the blessing of their marriage to their children: it was also a special occasion for my older brother, who also celebrated his 25th wedding anniversary today and for my other sister who also celebrated her 30th wedding anniversary, all on the same day!” Fr Thi shared.
“The reason we wanted to celebrate all of these anniversaries at once was to show the young people in our family and wider community that we must always put God at the center of our relationships and marriage, that without God it doesn’t work. We must learn to trust God and place God at the centre our life.
Dominic Nhan Lam and Maria Muon Dinh fled their home as refugees from the horrors of the Vietnam war and communist persecution, not once, but twice: finding hope for a life of freedom in their final journey to Australia as boat people.
“My parents came from the same village and parish in northern Vietnam.
“When the communists took over the north of Vietnam in 1954, civil war happened among the Vietnamese people, between north and south Vietnam, then my grandparents and parents (who weren’t married at that time) with their priest, in fact with almost the whole parish, escaped from the communist’s regime and went to the South,” shared Fr Thi.
“They wanted freedom to practice their faith without fear of persecution by the Communist regime.”
Vietnam had been under French colonial rule since the 19th century, before being expelled by Japanese forces in WWII.
During the war, political leader Ho Chi Minh, inspired by Chinese and Soviet communism, formed the Viet Minh, or the League for the Independence of Vietnam, to fight both the Japanese and the French, and in 1945 Ho’s Viet Minh forces took over the northern city of Hanoi, declaring a Democratic Republic of Vietnam (DRV) with Ho as President.
The Vietnam War was a long conflict (1955 – 1975) that pitted the communist government of North Vietnam against South Vietnam and her allies, the United States and Australia.
Some three million people were killed in the war, with more these being Vietnamese civilians.
It was during this time, 1960, right in the middle of the Vietnam War, that Fr Thi’s parents were married.
“In keeping with the cultural norms of Vietnam in the late 1950’s, my grandparents (on both sides of the family) made a connection and introduced my mother and father to each other. “Marriage in those days was not like today, it was very conservative in the village, and this is still the norm in most of the world,” Fr Thi explained.
“When the Communists took control of South Vietnam in 1975 and the Vietnam war had finished, my parents had to once more flee Vietnam and find a way to run away from the Communists,” Fr Thi said.
“So mum and dad had organised for my two eldest brothers and sister to escape Vietnam with my two uncles and aunties by boat, they went through the Malaysian refugee camp and got accepted to come to Australia in 1984.
“My eldest brother arrived in 1983 and the other two arrived in 1984, a year after, we also have other relatives, three uncles and four aunties who came to Perth as boat people too, one ended up in Perth and the rest just followed.
“In the early days when Vietnamese refugees were first accepted into Australia, they were often encouraged to come to Perth rather than other cities, because, Perth was known as the state of plenty land but only few people with a little population. Although many other Vietnamese refugees still chose the big city likes Sydney and Melbourne”.
His aunt and uncles sponsored the rest of the family to come over in 1991.
“Me, my brothers and a sister came together with my parents to Australia in 1991 under the sponsorship of ‘family reunion’,” Fr Thi said.
The culture shock of moving to Australia was huge but somewhat negated by the experience of fleeing the North to start a new life in South Vietnam in 1954, they had already uprooted their entire lives, starting over from scratch once before.
The Lam’s now have 18 grandchildren, ranging in age from 8 through to 29 years of age, who, just like the Vietnamese community as a whole, are thriving here in Australia, the country they call home.