On 9 February 1958, small town US Preacher David Wilkerson was watching late night television when the Holy Spirit prompted him to pray. He switched off the television and turned his heart to God, and did so for the next 16 nights.
On the 16th evening his eyes were drawn to a magazine article and he began to weep as he viewed the ink sketching of seven members of the Dragon Gang who were on trial for the murder of a 15 year old boy.
He heard a voice whisper in his spirit, “Go and help these boys”. Although he had never been to New York before, his heart had become so anguished for these lost and broken youth, that he drove there the next day and soon found himself deeply immersed in the sinister and violent underbelly of New York gangland culture. Wilkerson’s impulsive, perilous step of faith planted the seed for Teen Challenge, a programme that is today releasing tens of thousands of young people across the world from the webs of addiction and other life-controlling issues.
Wilkerson had responded to a call that God placed in his heart and years later he would put words to this yearning in an impassioned and moving sermon. I believe that his speech identifies one of the key elements that is afflicting the Church today.
“Whatever happened to anguish in the house of God?” he grieves.
We do not carry within us, either as individuals or as a Church, a heart that is pained by the sin and sadness in the world, he says. We have become so self–absorbed and desensitised to what is happening around us that we do not allow God to drench us with His tears. True passion can only be born when we allow God to baptise us with His anguish, Wilkerson cries out.
I recognise the truth of his words in my own life. I find myself hiding under a lukewarm umbrella of “concern”, where I am worried by what is happening in the world, but I am not deeply and painfully anguished by it. I wonder how many others there are like me? We are “concerned” that abortion, sexual disease, violence, drug use, unwanted children, family breakdown, wars and poverty are spiritually and physically decimating our world, but we feign helplessness so we can keep ourselves at arms length from the true pain that God wants to arouse in us.
Concern is not anguish, Wilkerson tells us – it is merely a safe substitute because it does not require a commitment of the heart. It is usually a temporary, albeit genuine, burst of emotion that flares within us, but we too easily allow it to be suffocated by other priorities in our lives. Wilkerson holds up Old Testament characters such as Nehemiah as examples of how God wants us to respond to the pain and suffering in the world. Nehemiah broke down and wept and fasted and mourned and prayed to God night and day. He opened his heart to God’s love and with that he opened himself up to God’s agony.
But this vulnerability is a concept that is so foreign to most of us. We live in a society that strives to alleviate any form of personal suffering or anxiety – where success is measured by comforts and conveniences. Wilkerson laments that we are all too willing to spend time watching television, using the internet or indulging our own interests, but there are very few who are willing to sacrifice their time in prayer to seek the heart of their Heavenly Father.
We are prepared to give ourselves partially to God, through weekly church attendance and perhaps some extra prayers on weekdays, or even the giving of our money or time for a good cause, but they are not, ultimately, what God has asked of us. What He has asked is for us to love Him with all our heart, all our soul and all our might – anything that follows should be a fruit of this love.
So if our surrender to God is not complete, we need to ask ourselves why. Is it because we are contented with where we are and what we have and are not willing to risk losing the security and comforts that we have created for ourselves? Or perhaps we are fearful of what God will ask of us if we are truly open to hearing His cry? But if we entertain either of these beliefs – that God simply wants us to be personally happy and content with our life on earth or that He will burden us with pain and suffering – then our perception of our Heavenly Father have been sadly distorted.
For the anguish that God desires us to share is not intended to crush us, but rather to give us new life and with it, true joy – for it is only when we completely surrender ourselves to God that we will be able to receive the fullness of His love.
It is why Jesus compared His impending death to the anguish of a woman in labour. You will be sorrowful, He told His apostles, but the new life that is born from this pain, will “turn your sorrow into joy” (John 16:20).
Sadly Wilkerson passed away last month, but he has left us with a key that may open the door for both individual and church renewal. Revival, and true joy will come, he said, but only when we allow God to break our hearts.
To hear the speech go to www.youtube.com – “David Wilkerson – A Call to Anguish”