Trusting in God’s providence never lets you down, singer tells Third National Gathering of Families in Melbourne
By Bridget Spinks
Submission to the Holy Spirit, the Lord the Giver of Life is the key to a creative Catholic home, father of five John Duiker said during a workshop at the Share the Dream 3rd National Family Gathering in Melbourne on 16 April.
John first experienced the Catholic Charismatic Renewal in 2000 and then met his future wife after he started getting involved in the music ministry at his parish.
Now that he and his wife Sharon are raising a family of five children, John shared his tips on how he is working to build a prayerful, faith-filled culture in the home.
The second key element is believing that the Holy Spirit is everywhere and always present in all things, John said.
“We give our will to the Lord. God doesn’t make us love Him. The Lord loves us and we need to love Him too,” he said.
By surrendering one’s will to the Lord and by “getting down” – a reference to the Audio Adrenaline song Get Down, which deals with themes of surrender and humility – that is, by giving up one’s life for God and others, parents will be able to create a truly Catholic home, he said.
Coincidentally, how to lead the humble Christian way of life, abandoned to God’s will, in contrast to a narcissistic lifestyle of ‘what can I get from others?’ and ‘how can I get the most attention?,’ is the subject of John’s PhD thesis: “Has abandonment to Divine Providence been abandoned?” which he is completing through the Catholic Theological College in Melbourne. Through this, he is seeking to recover the concept of having abandonment to Divine Providence as one of the focal points for the Christian life and to increase awareness of Fr Jean-Pierre de Caussade’s book of the same name, which is a spiritual classic.
The third key element to creating a Catholic home is personal prayer, either with traditional prayers such as the Rosary, the Divine Office, reading the Bible and praying with the scriptures such as the Psalms or with more spontaneous prayer such as “I thank you Lord for my family”.
“The more we do, the more it becomes second nature,” John said.
Taking the example of Jesus who “was about praying in the here and now” and who was very hands on and touched people and healed them (including lepers), John will, for example, trace the sign of the Cross with his thumb on his children’s foreheads while praying a blessing on them.
“In marriage, it’s a powerful thing to come to one another and ask for prayer when you’re struggling,” he said.
It is an act of humility to ask one another for prayer and it becomes a way to learn about each other’s struggles, he said.
Often, he will go to his wife, she will place her hand on his head or shoulder and pray then and there for his intentions.
In the Duiker home, John will sit his children down and invite them to share the best and worst parts of their day. He’ll ask them whether they saw God working today as this teaches them the importance of leading an examined life.
“Is there a prominent place in your home for the Bible?” John asked.
He suggested opening it up at dinner and reading the Scriptures with the intention of discovering what God might want to say to them that day. “Bring your kids to Mass,” John said, regardless of whether they are noisy in the church.
We can’t expect to have complete silence, he said, because the Mass is communal prayer, public worship.
There’s plenty of great Christian literature for young children out there that is worth exploring, he said, and these books can be brought to Mass for them.
It is possible to make the Mass come alive for the little ones, for example by having little replica Mass items in the home so the children can ‘play’ Mass at home.
During the consecration, John will whisper in his children’s ears if they can see the Angels around the altar.
At Easter, the Duiker family has started to bring to life the symbols of the Paschal mystery.
On Holy Thursday, they have begun a tradition of having a “Passover” meal in the home.
On Good Friday, John and the children set up a crucifixion scene in their front garden, with three wooden crosses.
On Easter Sunday, they drape a white cloth over the Cross, with a sign saying “He is not here, He is Risen”.
Another creative way to celebrate faith in the home is to save up all the Easter egg wrappers and have the children paste them onto the figure of the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove.
These can be hung in the window at Pentecost with the words “Come Holy Spirit,” which also becomes a way to witness to the neighbours.
Once a week the Duiker family will also have a “technology free day” where no-one uses phones, computers, email or facebook – except in emergencies – and since its introduction, the family has discovered the joy of playing board games again.
The last point John made when giving parents ideas on raising their children in a creative Catholic home was to stress the importance of being immersed in a Christian culture because he finds that what he immerses himself in, he becomes like.
On a daily basis, playing Christian music or listening to a Christian music station (Sonshine FM 89.5 in Perth; Hope 103.2 in Sydney or LightFM 89.9 in Melbourne) in the car or in the home is one way to surround yourself and your family with good influences.
John told the audience that “we have to be like Christian MacGyvers” and use the things around us to build a creative Catholic home and remember to pray and surrender to the Holy Spirit.
“In all things, the Lord loves you. He’ll never let you down or forsake you,” he said.
John Duiker’s Top 10 Contemporary Christian Artists
1 Audio Adrenaline
2 Casting Crowns
3 Sons of Korah
4 Superchick
5 TobyMac
6 Jimmy Needham
7 Newsboys
8 Chris Tomlin
9 DC Talk
1 Switchfoot (not overtly Christian but does have Christian themes)