Maggie Hamilton’s book, What’s happening to our boys? reminded me of the William Golding classic, Lord of the Flies, but with a far more chilling dimension because it addresses real issues in the lives of boys today. In Golding’s book, published in 1954, a group of pre-teen boys find themselves stranded on an island and have to fend for themselves without the influence of any adults.
Book review
What’s happening to our boys?
By Maggie Hamilton
Published by Viking, Penguin
Reviewed by Mark Reidy
The result is a gradual and brutal descent into animalistic savagery. My perception of Golding’s message is that, without the moral, emotional and physical presence of protective men, boys will be forced to rely on their own primeval and undeveloped resources and will become increasingly lost in the wilderness in which they find themselves. Hamilton continues this theme as she describes the technological and cultural influences that are moulding young males in the 21st century.
Boys today, she laments, are spending less time with their parents than ever before and, as a consequence, the foundations of their adult lives are being increasingly influenced by external factors.
These factors, Hamilton warns, do not have the best interests of our children at heart but, rather, sees them only as potential sources of income.
She says that they also expose them to influences far beyond their mental, emotional and biological capabilities.
Hamilton explores issues ranging from stealth marketing, which she claims begins to target children from a very early age, to the powerful effects of media and the Internet in formulating their thoughts and actions.
Due to the technological savvy of children and comparative ignorance of their parents, Hamilton claims that boys, even more so than girls, are venturing, unsupervised, into a world of pornography, violence and materialism on an unprecedented scale.
Their minds and identity, she says are being manipulated by a multi-billion dollar industry that has no concern for their well-being – and it is happening under our very noses. “While the information they get may be misleading or inaccurate”, she writes, “it’s accessible and immediate”.
Hamilton uses numerous professionals to support her concerns and has spoken to many boys and teenagers in an effort to bring a realistic context to her work and the result is a disturbing study for any parent to read.
Our boys, she says, are being cultivated into a lifestyle of self-interest and instant gratification, socially, sexually and materially.
Despite the, at times, horrific statistics and depictions of scenarios confronting young males today, particularly in relation to sexual exposure, Hamilton does not take a doom and gloom approach.
Rather, she believes that parents cannot live with their heads in the sand and says that it essential that we are aware of the dangers to which our boys are being exposed. By knowing, she writes, adults can then assume their rightful role as protectors and nurturers and she provides numerous ideas, suggestions and practical tips on how to empower this vulnerable generation when they inevitably confront issues such as drugs, alcohol, sex, pornography and relationships.
Hamilton’s book, I believe, is essential reading for any parent or adult dealing with boys, but it could cause unnecessary angst with some of the distressing portrayals of the topics she confronts.
The book is best read with an understanding that Hamilton has, at times, presented us with information that deals with the worst case scenarios of any given issue.
I do not believe that it is her intention to portray the world as so dangerous that we should keep our boys locked away from it, but rather she wants to provide us with an understanding that these influences are real and will, in varying degrees, affect all boys – more so if we are not aware of them.
And I agree.
Because, if we do not heed her warnings, we will, in essence, be deserting our sons on an island that will continue to drift further from our reach.