Earlier this week The West Australian reported on Catholic men who fast for the women – or future women – in their lives. In this edition of The Record Perth couple Stephen and Carmen Court invite all to experience a new way of refocusing on the importance of marriage.
By Stephen and Carmen Court
Has life become so busy that nourishing my relationship isn’t even on the radar?
– When will I ever find the time to actually nourish my marriage versus just being in my marriage?
– In what practical ways can I enrich my marriage physically and emotionally?
– How could my marriage ever possibly reflect the love of God? And what’s it got to do with God anyway?
– How can I rekindle hope for my marriage where I thought there was none? Do any of these questions resonate with you?
In November, this year, we will celebrate 30 years of marriage. We have always been in love and thought that our marriage was pretty good. We knew God was in there somewhere, and although not exactly sure where, He was there. Our life was, and still is, very busy. Five children, work, family, friends, community involvement, and the list goes on. Our life was good. About four years ago we decided to attend a marriage weekend recommended by a friend. When we mentioned it to our family they asked “Have you got problems in your marriage? Is everything all right?” They also said “If everything is OK, then why are you going?” We reassured them that all was fine, but that we just wanted some “time out” to understand a little more about our marriage.
We expected there would be some general discussion about communication skills and techniques and maybe some about love and God. All the usual stuff. We were also concerned that we might have to “share” details about our marriage with other couples or a group. Time was an issue too. How could we “reallocate” a whole weekend out of our busy lives to attend anyway?
There was also some level or organisation with our kids – not insurmountable – but an issue nonetheless. It was going to cost a bit too; and what real benefit would it provide anyway? After thinking about it, and how much we really valued our marriage, we went. After all, it is only two days out of the 9,307 days we had already been married, and who’s counting?
So in early 2006 we attended the first session of the Celebrate Love seminar. From the warm personal welcome to the opening remarks by the presenters we knew this was going to be far from a boring, typical and “low budget hand-outs” Church seminar.
The presenters were enthusiastic married couples who shared their real life experiences of marriage threaded within some excellent material and content. The richness of the content and the quality of the couple work-books was far beyond expectation. A contemporary presentation of marriage highlighting the realities of marriage, set in the context of the richness of marriage. Each topic was structured with initial content and context provided by the presenters, then immediately followed by discussion we had, just as a couple, no-one else. It seemed like the programme had been written and designed just for us, Stephen and Carmen. Why? It seemed that every topic, in varying depth were topics we needed to cover and discuss. But, interestingly, every couple seemed to have a similar experience.
So, maybe the programme wasn’t just written for us personally after all.
Our marriage, which was pretty good before, is even better now. We loved the programme so much, we were a host couple for a seminar run in our own parish of Applecross. We were then encouraged to become part of the Celebrate Love presenting and organising team. The programme has richly opened up the work done by Pope John Paul II in his writings on the Theology of the Body. For us, it has placed marriage in a much greater context than we had ever imagined, and certainly much more than when we were first married. When we fell in love, courted, engaged and were married, we thought it was great and that it couldn’t really get any better than that. It was our experience of family and friends that not all marriages work and some “function” but not all that well. So we always felt that we were on the “OK” side of the chart. And we were! But after doing that Celebrate Love seminar and applying its wonderful information in our marriage, things are even better than when we set out on our marriage journey. We have every confidence in saying that marriage is magnificent. Our marriage is also a witness to our children. Our children also see more than a glimpse of God in our marriage too. Our family and friends see this too. It doesn’t need to be expressed in words, because it is what people “see” in our marriage that makes them think that there is something special there, and something worth having in their own lives. The Celebrate Love seminar has also taught us that marriage is not something to “put under a tub” for our personal objectives, but instead is something to celebrate. As humans, we are born to be in relationship. Those called to the vocation of marriage are on a mission to love – reflecting God’s love through the love of husband and wife.
There is so much more we can tell you about the Celebrate Love seminar. There is plenty of information on the website
www.celebratelove.com.au, which includes details of the topics and a chance to register for the next seminar on 19-20 June in Doubleview. We would also love to talk to you more about the programme and would welcome your phone call. Please phone either Carmen or Stephen on 9316 4434 or 0419 945 277. We are also planning a wine and cheese info evening at our home on 4 June. **Stephen and Carmen Court have been married for 29 years with 5 children, have been involved with Celebrate Love for 3 years and are mentor couples for the Embrace programme run over 6 weeks, preparing engaged couples for marriage using a tailored version of the Celebrate Love seminar programme especially focused on engagement and preparation for marriage.