By Paul Catalanotto
Glendalough parishioners Paul and Laura Catalanotto know a thing or two about organising and hosting a wedding – particularly in the middle of a global pandemic. With many engaged couples postponing or outright cancelling their weddings during the COVID-19 pandemic, Paul Catalanotto, who hails from New Orleans in the United States of America, explains the couple’s decision to go ahead with the wedding two months earlier than planned, and how they coped.
It was early March, and with every refresh of my news feed, another blogger lamented the difficulties of love and marriage during a pandemic.
The failure to have everyone on their invite list attend their wedding because of travel restrictions, the cancelling of venues for receptions, and the pushing back of wedding dates; the list went on.
It led some people to question their relationship and vocation to marriage.
I increasingly noticed numerous friends who were postponing their wedding with hopes to re-schedule to a later time.
With some trepidation but much excitement, Laura and I decided to go ahead with our wedding, however we moved the date forward to March instead of June, citing pending government restrictions, limitations on attendees, in addition to the possibility that weddings might be banned altogether for an indefinite time.
Now, as restrictions around the world begin to ease, we have been asked on more than one occasion, “Do you regret getting married during the COVID-19 crisis?”
With the benefit of hindsight, let me try to answer this as honestly as possible.
Our decision meant we had to go without a lot of the modern conventional trimmings.
Travel restrictions and government regulations meant that only Laura’s immediate family could attend and only one of her parents could be in the Church as a witness.
Originally hailing from New Orleans, USA, this also meant that I would unfortunately have none of my family or friends in attendance.
As a result of the government restrictions, we could not seek third party help to assist us with the usual wedding tasks, so this became the ultimate family “DIY wedding”.
There were to be no idle spectators at this ceremony; it was to be an “all hands on deck affair!”
We look back now with gratitude for each of the handful of people who played such a critical and meaningful role to make our wedding possible.
Laura’s sisters were the last minute seamstresses for her off-the-rack wedding dress and also served as her makeup artist and hair dresser.
Laura’s mum was the acting florist and had only locally produced flowers with which to work, my father-in-law was the chauffeur for the day, procurer of drinks and eats, and host extraordinaire.
My brother-in-law made sure I arrived to the church looking like a groom. He generously loaned me his shoes, because mine were still in freight from the US, in addition to taking me to what seemed like the only barber who was open.
Laura’s sister’s fiancé was one of the two witnesses for the wedding – noting that we could only have five people in the chapel total.
Our priest for the occasion, Fr Mark Rucci from Ballajura Parish, was also the media and tech specialist, who assisted in setting up our YouTube live stream.
Laura’s parents’ house was to be the reception venue complete, with a champagne brunch.
Our wedding cake was a one-tier homemade almond cake (that rivalled a famous New Orleans bakery), our first dance was to Louis Armstrong’s La Vie En Rose (danced in the in-laws living room and played on a portable speaker) and could only be witnessed by my mother via video-call, and the wedding photos were taken on mobile phones.
In brief, there was an overwhelming outpouring of love and energy from family.
There was a list of things we didn’t have the luxury of having though.
Musicians, professionally arranged flowers and make-up artists, the traditional bachelor party, party favors, professional photographer, a three-tier wedding cake, a fancy reception, a DJ or live band, limos to and from the wedding, and proper wedding rings.
Our month-long honeymoon in Europe became a day off work and a weekend at the beach.
Grace supplied what we lacked by way of the usual celebrations, and by having less, we were allowed to focus more on the sacrament, God, and each other.
We had the best wedding we could at the time, and we still loved it despite its lack of modern trimmings.
Please know, even the simple nature of our wedding is not to say we did not experience pain or heartache.
As one family member put it, they felt “cheated” through the deprivation of attending the celebrations which traditionally—and for a good reason—usually accompany a wedding.
My mother, though incredibly supportive of our decision to move up the wedding date, could not be present as flights from the US to Australia were grounded.
Many couples who postpone their weddings must contend with a similar heartache, met with disappointment, uncertainty, complicated family relations, and incomplete guest lists, not to mention lost deposits.
By postponing the wedding, the bride and groom might still be in the same scenario they were hoping to avoid, with or without COVID-19.
We too experienced all of these.
By postponing the wedding, the bride and groom might still be in the same scenario they were hoping to avoid, with or without COVID-19.
If we had waited for the “Insta-worthy” wedding or really just the original June date, the wedding would have been relatively similar due to the travel restrictions, closed businesses, and quarantine requirements still in place.
Our story may not be everyone’s experience.
Still, for those who find themselves in a similar situation, questioning whether to pursue a wedding in less than ideal circumstances, I can honestly say with loving and enthusiastic encouragement, “GO FOR IT”. Your wedding can mean a lot while having extraordinarily little.
Finally, if we compare our wedding to what is seen in social media, on TV, or in magazines some might conclude or try to convince us that our wedding was short-changed because it lacked some conventional trimming. That was not our experience.
The wedding was beautiful in its simplicity.
In my experience, I don’t believe we are ever short-changed by God, and we can never out-give God’s generosity, even in a less than ideal circumstance.